As in, caused by trauma (is traumatic for him regardless of cause).

Setting: France, mid-19th century (literally a few years either side of 1850)

Character: Is 46 by the time this actually comes out, has been definitively not been able to get an erection since at least the age of 43 but almost certainly earlier. Character has been in prison from the age of 27 to the age of 43, no hard labour but a certain amount of violence (basically other prisoners and sometimes the guards kicking the shit out of him for jollies) for the first 7 or 8 years before removed to quieter, more Count of Monte Cristo-like confinement. Other injuries with current visible effects include a broken leg that healed a bit oddly (limps, but bears weight just fine) and a broken hand. Character ended up in prison related to attempted revolutionary actions - it's Paris, there are barricades every few years through the 1830s. The leg, a head laceration, and a couple stab wounds were the results of that action, though they are obviously long-healed by the time this story takes place. His last erection was whilst in prison, either during a rape or while masturbating at some point later (the time of last erection may be determined in part by the cause of the impotence).

Research question: Why can't he get it up? I can settle for psychological factors if necessary, but I'd prefer it be the result of physical trauma since there's been a certain amount of physical trauma in his history. The difficulty here is that there can be no obvious damage to the penis (uncircumcised) or testicles, as sometime after his release from prison, he went swimming with his brother (naked, obviously, at this period) and his brother noticed nothing. The brother has to be surprised when the character finally admits that he is incapable of defiling the housemaids.

I'd also settle for something STD related, if it could have been picked up by the age of 23 (a few celibate years prior to being taken wounded off a barricade) or be the result of prison rape and have no effects for several years.

Additionally, the character attended medical school for three of the four years it would have taken to receive a degree and served as an intern at a major hospital during the final year of his studies, but he never finished his degree, nor did he even come up with a subject for the require thesis. He may or may not be able to diagnose an injury or disease himself - either way is fine.

Previous searches: Searching for "impotence" or "erectile dysfunction" and "trauma" give me a certain amount of crap (frequent low-level, repetitive trauma like from riding a bike may cause ED - not helpful to anyone) or want to point me towards serious nerve damage, which I can't have because he walks around just fine except for the limp. I've also been pointed to Peyronie's disease, which is also completely unhelpful. The man can't get it up at all - he'd fine painful erections a comfort, as it would mean he still has all the appropriate reactions to a beautiful woman.

So, does he have an injury, VD, or a psychological problem? Preference is in that order.

Thank you!

Happy 2012, people!!!! This year will be a good one I feel it in my bones! Now time for the detox starts here! Hope you all had a blast last night and remember most of it, feeling the party from last night! May all your dreams come true and may 2012 be full of amazing memories and love! ♥ xxxxxxxxx

This post is only useful if you are really very bored. Content-free!

Everybody likes boobs. Okay, maybe not everybody everybody, but the people who don't? Well, we can only pity them.

This is the most fascinating take on a vibrator I've ever seen. It's so different that I had to watch the (SFW) instructional video. Seriously. Just looking at the picture, I couldn't figure out how the hell it worked. Isn't it adorable? Pricey, though. Whoa.

Scott Sonnon posted a nifty Three Day Power Workout. I think these movements and their focus will help with the punching. If I can find Mckitterick's old resistance bands that he used for physical therapy a couple years ago, and if I can find somewhere to affix them for Day Two's movements, I'm going to give this a try. Looks fun!

Enuff said.

Sirhan Sirhan's lawyers claim they can prove that two guns were fired at RFK and that the balistics of the kill shots show they didn't come from Sirhan's gun.

I went to the rose garden and was surprised to see a number of the roses in full bloom.
The smell of blooming roses in the air was heavenly.
I set up along a wall and enjoyed several hours of hanging out with the roses.
I did some layered abstract sketches and then the roses wanted me to draw them so I did.

... without ever having read the books.

I know, I know. But hear me out. I haven't read the books for good reason. I've heard so much about them, dissecting them to death, parodies of them, etc, that I honestly just don't think I could read them with a fair eye at this point. I'd be so biased just going in. Plus, from what I've heard about the story, it just doesn't appeal to me.

That being said, I think I may have figured out the appeal.

Now, I know Edward and Bella are said to have an unhealthy, even abusive relationship. And that there's lots of fucked up stuff in the books, probably due to Stephenie Meyer being Mormon. Or maybe just due to Stephenie Meyer being fucked up. But in any case, yeah I'm not advocating Edward's and Bella's relationship as some sort of ideal.

From what I've heard, Edward and Bella don't have sex until fairly late into their relationship, and Bella's definitely the aggressor. She's the one pushing for sex all along, and he's holding back because he's afraid he'll hurt her, being a vampire and all. And when they finally Do It, it's the most explosively awesome thing ever, which ultimately results in a baby that has soap opera rapid aging syndrome. But that's neither here nor there.

The point is that she pushes and pushes, and he's the one to hold back. Pretty much the complete opposite of what most women have to deal with in real life. Oh and they eventually get to have sex but she gets to stay the Good Girl, because they're married and it results in a baby and stuff.

So yeah, I can see how that could seem like a pretty awesome fantasy on that level. She gets to have her sexuality without pressure or judgement.

So I'm not saying these are great books or anything (I can't, since I've never read them). But I have the feeling that I've figured out what their appeal might be.

The camera angle stumbles in the shade
Meandering down the avenue on parade
Fashioning magic from our fingertips
Uncapturable
The moment escapes
The escapades fade
We take each one like a breath
Not a thing but an event
Like a heartbeat
or a memory
Slender, slipping, tasting, dripping
Skipping gently
From one to the next
Losing this one
But taking another breath